Divine Decorum: Expert Advice on how to Avoid Celebration Chaos

Q: I am hosting a family reunion this July. My home is quaint, so most of my relatives have already coordinated to stay in hotels; however, my mother-in-law keeps insisting to stay at my place, despite my families’ invites to stay with them! I do love her, but I don’t think I could handle the stress of trying to please her while preparing for my party! Is it rude to ask her to stay with a different relative?

-Ashleigh, Schaumburg, IL

A: Unfortunately, I have to say yes: it is slightly rude. I wish that was not the case, since so many of us can relate.  My best advice is to “occupy her time” so she will not be fighting for yours. Use the fact that she is your mother-IN-LAW as an advantage. Have your partner take her out of the house for some bonding time—if that means lunch, that’s one less meal for you to worry about J. You could even schedule a spa appointment for her. She will appreciate pampering, and you will have a few hours to focus. With a little brainstorming and some help from a few relatives in town, you will have one less stress!

Q: It seems that no matter how I address my party invitations (ex. Mr. & Mrs. Smith), I always have one friend (or multiple) that insist on bringing children! The excuse is always, “I can’t find a babysitter,” but really, it’s one night. Goodness, I would babysit for her, if I weren’t hosting my own party. Please help me achieve one night sans the crying kiddies!

-Tina, Rockford, IL

A: This, dear, is what I like to call the bittersweet taste of parenthood (or your friends’ parenthood). Assuming these are young children, you still have quite a few more years before the end of this (common) awkward situation. Try and keep and open mind, but instead of fighting it, why not embrace it? In the past, many of my clients have enjoyed hiring child supervisors for their events. Depending on the weather, fun activities (e.g. moon bounce, arts & crafts, movies, etc.) are set up outside or on a different level of the house. This way the kids stay safe and occupied, and you can relax and enjoy the leisure of a few cocktails with your friends.

Q: I want my bridesmaids to be happy, but I am afraid that if I let them pick their own dresses, I won’t like them. How can I please everyone?

-Chris, Chicago, IL

A: Start by giving your bridesmaids a few guidelines. Maybe you already have a color in mind or a material you like. After they gather a few dresses, decide if their choices fit your taste and venue; for a beach wedding, it may not be the best idea to go with a heavy black velvet gown (or maybe that’s what you want).  In the end you may like their ideas, but it’s always good to have a backup. 

To have your questions answered, email christina@christinacurrieevents.com